Dirty Blonde

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Chain e-mail

My friend at work, Amy, decided to send me a chain e-mail today. It's the kind that has all these random question that you are required to answer and send back to them along with 10 other people or else bad things will happen. Naturally, I don't respond. Around a hour later she looks over at me and says "I'm still waiting."
Me:"Waiting for what?"
Amy:"Didn't you get my e-mail?"
Me:"Yes"
Amy:"Aren't you going to do it?"
Me:"No"
Amy:"I want you to do it."
Me:"Fine, I'll do the damn thing."

Okay, so here was my response to her e-mail.

1. What is your occupation? Rock Whore
2. What color is your underwear? What are underwear?
3. What are you listening to right now? I don't listen to shit
4. What was the last thing you ate? Your dad
5. Do you wish on stars? Only if they are really hottt...Jason Momoa
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red
7. How is the weather right now? How do you think it is dumbass. We live in Florida. It's fucking hot.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Your father. He wants to see me again.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No, she's a fucking cunt.
10. How old are you today? 25 and if you say differently you're fired!
11. Favorite drink? Corona
12. Favorite sport to watch? Sex, I consider it a sport.
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? No, I'm naturally beautiful and if you say differently, you're fired.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Contacts
15. Pets? Just your father.
16. Favorite month? June
17. Favorite food? A nice big wiener.
18. Favorite day of the year? June 14th
19. What do you do to vent anger? It depends on what type of retaliation I am planning.
20. What was your favorite toy as a child? Ken
21. Fall or Spring? Does it really matter down here? It's hot either way.
22. Hugs or kisses? Neither, I'd rather get down to the dirty stuff.
23. Cherry or Blueberry? I'll say blueberry since it's been so long since I've had a cherry, I don't remember what it's like.
24. Do you want your friends to email you back? No, I don't plan on sending this shit to them.
25. Who is most likely to respond? Your dumb ass.
26. Who is least likely to respond? Everyone else
27. When was the last time you cried? I don't cry...This is true.
28. What is on the floor of your closet? My vibrator collection.
29. Who is the friend you have had the longest? His name was Randall and it lasted about 6 hours. That's the longest I can remember. Your dad only lasted about 5 minutes.
30. What did you do last night? I played with myself
31. Favorite smell? Dick
32. What inspires you? Good sex
33. What are you afraid of? Bad sex
34. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Plain or spicy...Yeah, hard choice. I'll go with spicy.
35. Favorite dog: The wiener dog
36. Number of keys on your key ring? How the fuck am I supposed to know.I have a key for everything at the bank. You count them bitch.
37. How many years at your current job? I'm currently in my 4th year of servitude in Hell.
48. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
49. How many states have you lived in? 3
50. How many cities have you lived in? Including Satan's Cesspool, 6

Be careful what you ask for!

Posted by drunkbh :: 11:05:00 PM :: 21 comments