Dirty Blonde

Friday, September 30, 2005

Remember when?

I got this today and couldn't stop laughing while I read it. While I was reading it to a friend at work, she kept giving me a puzzled look. She just turned 22. Damn, I feel old.
You know you were raised in the late 80's/early> 90's when...
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE ".
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair " ....and can do the Carlton".
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock ".
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars...and "spokey-dokes" or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "DuckTales " (Woo ooh!)
12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen, and still know the turtles names.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) 18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM " in Kindergarten. (She's truly outrageous.)
21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF "
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us... head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pal Kids in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave you because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like 24, probably in neon colors, too)
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up "
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples.
43. "Don't worry, be happy "
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes> still do... getting yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)
46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
47. You remember boom boxes.. and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
48. You remember watching both "Gremlins " movies.
49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
50. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little Pony" Tales
51. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
53. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".
54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell ", the ORIGINAL class.
55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
56. You just sang those words to yourself.
57. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
58. homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
59. You remember when mullets were cool!
60. You had a mullet!
61. You still sing "We are the World "
62. You tight rolled your jeans.
63. You owned a banana clip
64. You remember "Where's the Beef?"
65. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"
66. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
67. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!!!




Song of the day
Scorpion
Send Me An Angel

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:31:00 PM :: 25 comments

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Thursday, September 29, 2005

HNT

It's Half-Nekkid Thursday again. I've decided that it's going to be my last. Since it's the last, I plan on going out with a bang. I'm posting the picture that I swore I never would. I have no shame anymore.



The song for the day fits the post. Does anyone remember this one?

Marcy Playground

Sex and Candy


Posted by drunkbh :: 1:39:00 AM :: 20 comments

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I'm a priceless fairy

I was looking up the roots of names and their meanings. This is some of the stupid shit I do when I'm bored. Anyways, I found the meaning of my name rather interesting. In Slovakian ***** means fairy. In Latin ***** means worthy of praise or priceless. I can be a priceless fairy, a fairy worthy of praise or just a fairy. I'm not too crazy about the fairy thing but I definitely like the priceless.

On to my perverted day at work. I had a rather interesting conversation today at work. I wasn't even the one who brought the subject up. We were discussing what cum tastes like. Stay with me, there is a point here. One girl said that she thought it tasted like bleach. When she actually tasted bleach is a mystery to me. The thing that really amazes me is that she thought this was normal. I want to know what her man is eating to make it taste like that. She asked me what I thought it tasted like. My answer "Cum."

Song of the day
Disturbed
Guarded

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:58:00 AM :: 28 comments

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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

7 things again

I was tagged by Walking.Talking.Poison to do the 7 things. She suggested that the people that have already done this one should think of 7 other things like "7 things that I regret" I don't have 7 things that I regret. I only have one and if you must know about it, here it is.

I'm gonna do 7 weird things that you don't know about me.

1- I am over half Cherokee Indian. Most of my family looks Indian. They all have dark skin and black hair. My brother and I got the German looks, pale skin and hair. Also, I know nothing about either one of my heritages.

2- Although I am extremely lazy, I will obsess over a task until I finish it. I am the anti-procrastinator. I can't handle leavings things undone. The main reason may be that I will forget about it if it's not done in the same day.

3- I can finish a 700 page book in one night if I like it. If I don't like the book, I will never finish it. I read compulsively. I'm either reading a book or looking up facts on the internet. My head is full of completely useless information.

4- I'm obsessed with teeth. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a set of jacked-up teeth. Nothing is sexier than a nice smile. I like other things too but this is the clincher.

5- I hate going to the movie theatre. It drives me crazy when someone is sitting next to me, crunching popcorn and slurping a drink. Plus, I want both fucking armrests. I always get some 300lb fucker sitting next to me that not only takes the armrest but also part of my seat as well.

6- I am a pack-rat. I hold on to certain things because they remind me of a time or place. I'm always afraid that I will need them later if I get rid of them. I still have my snow skis and boots and I haven't went skiing in 10 years. I live in Florida. There are no ski-slopes here. Still, I hold onto them...Maybe one day.

7- I've lived in Florida for 5 years now and I still haven't went to the beach. I'm not going to count the time that I could see the water from a bar that I was at in Ft Lauderdale. I haven't stepped foot in the ocean in 7 years. Go ahead. Start laughing now.

You might not know the song of the day. I think it's older than I am but it's one of my favorites.

Procol Harum
A Whiter Shade Of Pale


Posted by drunkbh :: 7:55:00 AM :: 19 comments

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Sunday, September 25, 2005

Bar hopping and a few other things

First, I want to apologize for not responding to the comments on my last post. I had a few computer issues these past few days. Somebody had suggested last Thursday that I should use BitDefender to clean out my computer. As I was downloading the program, my computer crashed. I restarted the computer and tried to download the program again. The download failed saying that the program was already downloaded and I must first uninstall it. This began a long process of me looking for the program so that I could uninstall it. Nothing seemed to work. I was up until 2:30am trying to correct it. What finally stopped me was a chair malfunction. It seems that my chair will only tilt so far back before it gives out. Needless to say, I landed on the small of my back on the tile floor. I'm still in pain from that incident. Also, I got a little crazy with uninstalling programs. When I tried to run my computer Friday, nothing would work. I finally fixed the problem after work on Friday but I had no time to post because I had to get ready. Yes, it was another night out on the town. So, now I will get with the point of this post.

MEN, HOW NOT TO PICK UP A WOMAN
  • Walk up and begin telling me how beautiful I am. Obviously, you think I am attractive, otherwise you wouldn't be hitting on me. If you can't think of anything better to say, don't bother.
  • Offer to buy me a drink if I come sit with you. The use of blackmail to get a woman to sit with you is pretty pathetic. I'd rather buy my own damn drinks.
  • Not take a hint. If I turn my back on you, it means get the fuck away. Don't peck my shoulder to get my attention. Don't keep asking me questions. If you persist, you will soon meet Drunk Bitch.
  • Assume that I must be interested in you because I happened to glance your way. Maybe, I was getting irritated at the way you were staring at me. Maybe, you have a big booger hanging out of your nose. Maybe, I fucking hate arrogance in a guy.
  • Assume that I will be interested in you because you are attractive. This goes back to the arrogance thing. These are the guys that I really hate. They assume that I will be falling all over myself because they look good. I outgrew that around 15 years ago. I would much rather talk to someone that can make me laugh than someone that is easy on the eyes.
  • Assume that I'm stupid. Guess what dumb asses? Dirty Blonde does not mean Dumb Blonde. If you can't maintain an intelligent conversation, go away. Let me give you some examples of the things that interest me: Quantum Physics, Shakespeare, Greek Mythology(my favorite). I'm not stupid, so don't assume that I am.
  • Think that just because I am at a club, I want to hook up with a guy. I hear this one all the time. Stupidity at it's best. Damn, I wish I could read minds as well as these retards. Then, I would know who to tell to FUCK OFF as soon as they walked up.

There you have it. These were just a few observation that I thought should be known to the male population. I prefer a man that can either hold an intelligent conversation or be witty enough to make me laugh. Both would be preferable but that rarely happens.

Song of the Day

A Perfect Circle

Passive


Posted by drunkbh :: 10:02:00 AM :: 27 comments

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Thursday, September 22, 2005

Thursday

Did you ever want something and not want it at the same time? You crave it but you know nothing good will come of it. It's a need that you can't escape.

In my mind, I can visualize every minute of it, every second. I can smell it. I can taste it.

It will never happen.

Obviously, I'm in a mood today. Sorry if you were expecting tits and ass for HNT. I'll give you a bunch of smiling faces instead. It's my blog and I'll do it any damn way I please.



The song for the day fits the mood.

3 Doors Down
The Road I'm On


Posted by drunkbh :: 12:04:00 AM :: 20 comments

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Just another day at the office

I work extremely hard. I must go in every day and deal with constant e-mails and questions. I decided to give you an example of some of the things that I must endure on a daily basis. The names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

E-MAILS
-----Original Message-----
From: Lisa
Sent: Saturday, September 17, 2005 2:11 PM
To: Me
Subject: I want some

Hey slacker.get your head out your crack. I need some,you giving it up?

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Saturday, September 17, 2005 2:19 PM
To: Lisa
Subject: I want some

Sure, but I do charge. How much you got? Unless you're willing to do me....Hmmm????????

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Saturday, September 17, 2005 2:19 PM
To: Lisa
Subject: I want some

Sure, but I do charge. How much you got? Unless you're willing to do me....Hmmm????????

-----Original Message-----
From: Lisa
Sent: Saturday, September 17, 2005 2:25 PM
To: Me
Subject: I want some

Me first,then I'll be glad to do you.

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Saturday, September 17, 2005 2:33 PM
To: Lisa
Subject: I want some

I don't think so. I'm not gonna do you until you do first.....and do me GOOD!

-----Original Message-----
From: Lisa
Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:32 PM
To: Me
Subject:

I think I might go to orlando with yall,just so you can pay some attention to putang ... ..this could be a lot of fun.the morewe think about it the more we like the idea,that is me and putang.

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2005 4:44 PM
To: Lisa
Subject:

Really, my pussy doesn't really talk to me that much....not here anyway.

DEBATES
We have debates over contraversial subjects. For instance, Vic and I debated what was more important:length or girth. This was a drawn out discussion that lasted quite a while. In the end we decided that as long as it wasn't too short what really mattered was girth.

I have decided to leave you with a quiz. Whomever gets all my questions correct will recieve sexual favors...not really but you will earn my respect. Play this CLIP.
What band is it?
Who are the two singers?
What other bands were they in?

Hint- One of the singers had a popular band previously and has another popular band now. The other singer was an unknown at the time but struck gold with another band later.

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:31:00 AM :: 26 comments

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I'm a sexual, extraverted adventurer.

I stole this from Sam. I only post these quizes when I like the results. This one is interesting plus I have nothing to write about.

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture
personality tests by similarminds.com
Song of the day
Tantric
Hey, hey, hey
I just found my way
All you stupid fuckers walk around astounded and drowning

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:08:00 PM :: 19 comments

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Monday, September 19, 2005

Spam, Part Deux

It seems that Amy loved my answers to her e-mail so much that she sent me another one. You really can't ask me these questions and expect to get a straight answer.

1. What time did you get up this morning? Right after your dad left.
2. Diamonds or Pearls? OOOOO...I love a pearl necklace
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I didn't get to watch it.
4. What is your favorite T. V. show? HBO Real Sex.... BTW the title is misleading. It is real but there's not much sex.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Your boyfriend. It was a little small but I like a light breakfast.
6. What is your middle name? Fuck Off
7. Favorite cuisine? Wieners
8. What foods do you dislike? Oysters
9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Never dated a Chip so I wouldn't know.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Whatever I burn.
11. What kind of car do you drive? Dumbass, you rode in it. No wonder you don't have a car.
12. Favorite sandwich? Anything, as long as it is at least a foot long
13. What characteristic do you despise? Small penises & small brains..unless it's attached to a large penis.
14. Favorite item of clothing? Thong
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Where do they have the pimps and hoes ball?
16. What color is your bathroom? Cream....must be from all the dried jizm on the walls.
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Whoever makes those vibrating underwear.
18. Where would you retire to? Tennessee DUH!
19. What was your most memorable birthday? I haven't remembered a birthday in 10 years. they tell me that I had fun though.
20. Favorite sport to watch? Sex, I thought I already answered this for you.
21. Furthest Place you are sending this? 6 feet away to your dumb ass.
22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? I don't plan on sending this shit to anyone else. I do plan on posting it though.
23. Person you expect to send it back first? The cunt aka you.
24. Goal you have for yourself? Multiple orgasms nightly.
25. When is your birthday? Flag day...that's right. They put flags out every year for MY birthday. Na Na Na Na Boo Boo!
26. Are you a morning person or a night person? NIGHT, it's the best time to have sex
27. What is your shoe size? 6...that would be larger than your boyfriend's dick!
28. Pets: Your boyfriend and your father. They both agreed to that lastnight.
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Yeah, the doctor called about your VD test. He said to come in ASAP and refrain from unprotected sex.
30. What did you want to be when you were little? A porn queen.
31. How are you today? Ask me later.
32. What is your favorite candy? chocolate covered NUTS
33. What is your favorite flower? pussy willow...technically this is not a flower but she didn't catch it.
34 What is a date on the calendar you are looking forward to? October 15 so I can raise some hell in Orlando.
35. Where is the furthest you have ever been from home? Here aka Satan's Cesspool.

Her only comment was "Nice goal."

The song of the day is from my favorite group.

Godsmack

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:23:00 AM :: 23 comments

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

Randomness


I thought I would compile a list of random shit about myself. Some of you already know some of these things.

* As a child, I believed that there was some type of evil, horrible creature under me bed that plotted to carry me off to another dimension where I would be tortured for eternity. To this day, not even a finger can hang over the edge of my bed at night.

* I hate tomatoes but I love tomato products. Cooking it changes the flavor. Raw tomatoes remind me of boogers. It's a texture thing.

* I must be medicated to fly on a plane. I have an unnatural fear of heights.

* I can't have sex drunk. I should say, I won't have sex drunk. I can't have an orgasm when I'm drunk so what's the point. Stoned is a totally different story.

* I've said this before. I hate being called drunk. Drunk Bitch was started because I'm a bitch when I drink. I prefer DB. I'm also called Hot Boss at work. It's really not a compliment considering what the other managers look like. If either of these are not suitable, call me Renee. It's my middle name.

* I hate being the passenger in a car. It's a control issue. I also hate driving long distances. My dislike for driving distances overrides my dislike of being a passenger. It's a no win situation.

* I am an exihbitionist. Why? I'm really not sure. I guess I like being looked at. However, you will NEVER see nude pictures of me.

* I can tune anything out. As a child, my mother took me to the doctor to get my hearing check. She was told that I could hear fine and that I was just ignoring her. Nothing's changed. I will intentionally ignore people that get on my nerves. I'm so good at it that I can pinpoint a specific voice to tune out and hear everything else.

* I hate sushi. I've tried several varieties and every one of them make me gag literally.

* If I drink, I only drink Corona or Bud Light. I'm a cheap date...unless you take me to dinner where I could empty a wallet with my appetite.

* If I want to do something, I do it. I don't think about the consequences. I don't want to regret missing out on anything. Life is too short to waste opportunities.

* I can't cry. The last time I cried was December 5th 2001, when I saw my brother dead. Even then, I only shed a few tears. Something inside of me won't allow me to show weakness.

* I have owned every pet imaginable...cats, dogs, hamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits, birds, fish, horses and turtles. I'm currently on Leopard Geckos.

* I refuse to argue. I have no problem with someone not agreeing with me.

* I never forget if someone wrongs me. I can forgive but I can never forget.

* I still sometimes dream that I can fly. Once, I had read what this meant but I have forgotten it since.

* I would fight for a friend more fiercely than I would for myself. Most of my friends are not that thick-skinned. I can't stand by and watch them being hurt.

* I've tried to learn Spanish but the only thing that I remember is the profanity. It must be how my brain works.

There you have it...A bunch of totally useless information.

I'm feeling a little nostalgic so the song for today will be old. It also happens to be one of the longest fucking songs ever.

Led Zeppelin

Posted by drunkbh :: 3:14:00 AM :: 18 comments

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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Saturday


Working on Saturdays sucks ass! I posted this picture because I needed something to put me in a good mood. I don't even feel like going out tonight...Not that I won't! As a matter of a fact, I need to unwind a little.

I don't really have anything to post about. I just wanted to post this picture and felt I should throw in a few sentences with it. Oh yeah, FUCK!

October Schedule
Oct. 3- Vacation (7 days)
Oct. 15- Halloween Horror Nights
Oct. 24- Nine Inch Nails Concert
I think this song fits today.
Slipknot

Posted by drunkbh :: 4:29:00 PM :: 8 comments

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Friday, September 16, 2005

How I lost my femininity

I grew up around boys. My brother, Keith, was a year older than me. My cousin, Brian, was my age. My other cousin, Chad, was three years older than me. We were together every day. Being the only girl, I was often the target. I was always the smallest. I learned Darwin's theory at a young age, survival of the fittest. We did have a certain pecking order. There was at least one fight a day. Keith always beat my ass. No matter how hard I tried, I got beat down like a bitch. I, on the other hand, always beat Brian's ass. Chad was a different story. He was much bigger than all of us but he was scared of me. One day, he decided that he would piss in my shoes. I know that sounds bad but the best part is the fact that I was still wearing them. I must have been about four or five years old at the time. I didn't cry. I didn't go tell on him. I went and got a hammer and came up behind him. I cracked his head pretty good. He ended up going to the hospital to get stitches and I got him off my ass for the rest of my adolescence.

I did have a feminine side. My mother put me in every beauty pageant imaginable from the time I was six months old until I was five. I used to love getting dressed up and getting my hair done. Back then, they actually looked like little girls not like drag queens. I had trophy's that stood two feet taller than I did.

I won first place in every single pageant that she entered me in except the last one...The biggest one. There were tons of people and cameras going off everywhere. I loved being on stage. I loved the cameras. I was so excited to get my new big trophy. And then, some little girl went up there and took MY first place trophy. I had never lost before. I didn't even realize that I had lost. I thought that some kid was stealing my trophy. Darwinism kicked in on my little brain. "She's not taking my trophy!" I stormed on stage amid all the camera lights and proceeded to beat the shit out of the girl. My mother was horrified. Needless to say, that was my last pageant. My little pink dress was taken away. I hate the color pink now. I wonder why. All I had left were my trophy's and my short lived childhood small-town fame.

The rest of my childhood consisted of motorcycles, building forts and firecracker wars. I later learned the dangers of firecracker war when I blew off three of my fingernails. Thank God they grew back. Name a sport and I did it. I was the classic definition of a tomboy. Later, when I started dating, I didn't want to go to the movies. I wanted to go hiking or skiing or biking or my favorite, wrestling. Now, I would rather sit back and watch a football game with a man than take a long walk on a beach.

I still hate pink!

Song of the day
Shinedown

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:23:00 AM :: 19 comments

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Thursday, September 15, 2005

HNT

It's Thursday. For me, it's still Wednesday because I haven't slept yet. A few days ago I said that I would do a Half Nekkid Thursday. This probably won't be what people expected but they'll have to live with it. Look up top. Do you see what it says? My world, my blog. Don't worry, you'll still see some tits and ass.

I think this could qualify as half-naked.

The small of a woman's back...very sensitive area, often overlooked.
A rule of HNT is that the pictures don't have to be of yourself. You just have to know the person. You can try to figure out who they are. I'm not telling.

Song of the Day
Taproot

Posted by drunkbh :: 2:11:00 AM :: 30 comments

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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Chain e-mail

My friend at work, Amy, decided to send me a chain e-mail today. It's the kind that has all these random question that you are required to answer and send back to them along with 10 other people or else bad things will happen. Naturally, I don't respond. Around a hour later she looks over at me and says "I'm still waiting."
Me:"Waiting for what?"
Amy:"Didn't you get my e-mail?"
Me:"Yes"
Amy:"Aren't you going to do it?"
Me:"No"
Amy:"I want you to do it."
Me:"Fine, I'll do the damn thing."

Okay, so here was my response to her e-mail.

1. What is your occupation? Rock Whore
2. What color is your underwear? What are underwear?
3. What are you listening to right now? I don't listen to shit
4. What was the last thing you ate? Your dad
5. Do you wish on stars? Only if they are really hottt...Jason Momoa
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red
7. How is the weather right now? How do you think it is dumbass. We live in Florida. It's fucking hot.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Your father. He wants to see me again.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No, she's a fucking cunt.
10. How old are you today? 25 and if you say differently you're fired!
11. Favorite drink? Corona
12. Favorite sport to watch? Sex, I consider it a sport.
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? No, I'm naturally beautiful and if you say differently, you're fired.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Contacts
15. Pets? Just your father.
16. Favorite month? June
17. Favorite food? A nice big wiener.
18. Favorite day of the year? June 14th
19. What do you do to vent anger? It depends on what type of retaliation I am planning.
20. What was your favorite toy as a child? Ken
21. Fall or Spring? Does it really matter down here? It's hot either way.
22. Hugs or kisses? Neither, I'd rather get down to the dirty stuff.
23. Cherry or Blueberry? I'll say blueberry since it's been so long since I've had a cherry, I don't remember what it's like.
24. Do you want your friends to email you back? No, I don't plan on sending this shit to them.
25. Who is most likely to respond? Your dumb ass.
26. Who is least likely to respond? Everyone else
27. When was the last time you cried? I don't cry...This is true.
28. What is on the floor of your closet? My vibrator collection.
29. Who is the friend you have had the longest? His name was Randall and it lasted about 6 hours. That's the longest I can remember. Your dad only lasted about 5 minutes.
30. What did you do last night? I played with myself
31. Favorite smell? Dick
32. What inspires you? Good sex
33. What are you afraid of? Bad sex
34. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Plain or spicy...Yeah, hard choice. I'll go with spicy.
35. Favorite dog: The wiener dog
36. Number of keys on your key ring? How the fuck am I supposed to know.I have a key for everything at the bank. You count them bitch.
37. How many years at your current job? I'm currently in my 4th year of servitude in Hell.
48. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
49. How many states have you lived in? 3
50. How many cities have you lived in? Including Satan's Cesspool, 6

Be careful what you ask for!

Posted by drunkbh :: 11:05:00 PM :: 21 comments

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Monday, September 12, 2005

Girls Gone Wild

First, I would like to apologize for the lameness of Saturday's post. I was in a Sudafed induced stupor when I wrote it....Bad cold! I get sick maybe once every two years and now happens to be the time. I left work early today because I felt like shit. I did however get the pictures developed today. I have my priorities in order just fine.

Saturday night was interesting to say the least. We ended up going to what I would call a pub in Boca. They had a live band which was pretty good...from what I remember. I was still high from the Sudafed plus I mixed that with alcohol. I promised myself not to drink too much and no dancing. That went out the door after about two drinks. We drank like fish and danced until we were all wet...and not wet in a good way.

This pic is when we first got there. I wasn't ready for the camera just yet. It was either this pose or the finger. I picked this one.
Dancing...Two beers later we were all dancing. Damnit! Why wasn't I ever in the middle? Also, why am I the only one that doesn't know that they are taking a picture? I don't even know who took the picture.
Aaahhh yes....grinding on the floor. We might have got a little dirty there but damn it was fun. I couldn't go down as far as she could. Then again, I didn't fall on my ass three times either.
This one is my favorite. After dancing all night I was fucking hot. The beer bottle was cold. Need I say more?
Last picture of the night. We were trashed at this point.
That's it! The rest of the pictures will be posted on Thursday. I had a good time. I always do. The only thing that surprised me about the night was the fact that I only got propositioned twice, once by a man and once by a woman. We pissed the man off so much that he screamed "I've fucked better looking than you!" Yeah, but tell me what you do when you are awake. I almost took the chick up on the offer. Maybe next time. I'm expecting us to show up on the next Girls Gone Wild video.

Song of the day
Stone Temple Pilots

Posted by drunkbh :: 10:03:00 PM :: 28 comments

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Saturday, September 10, 2005

Short Post, I Promise

I'm going out tonight. I'm sure that's a big shocker. So, if anything good happens tonight, I will post about it tomorrow.

I've started a new game. It has to so with word veriFUCKation. If you have word veriFUCKation, I'm gonna make a sentence at the end of my comment that goes with the letters. Sometimes they might not make sense, like I give a shit.

I like the idea of Half-Naked Thursdays. So, you might want to check back on Thursday to see what I've cooked up. I've got my camera ready tonight.

Nine Inch Nails
Closer....You had to know that this song was coming.

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:53:00 PM :: 23 comments

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Friday, September 09, 2005

What the hell am I going to do?

Tomorrow/today is Friday and I have no plans for the weekend. Damn, I'm slacking. I have nothing to post about today so I guess I will babble about dumb shit that happened today at work.
*Vagina Monologues seemed to be a topic of discussion since the concert last Friday. It seems that someone who shall remain nameless...*cough, cough,Vic*, initially thought that it was about talking pussies. Yeah, I know I said pussy. I like that word much better than vagina. Actually, I prefer the word cunt, but we won't get into that. Anyways, VICTOR thought that it would be a bunch of pussies with someone moving the lips to make it seem like they would talk. This conversation sparked the idea of a Penis Monologues. I would so pay to see that....Wait...Can I be an extra? Maybe a fluffer???
*Again I was asked at work "What are we dressing up as for Halloween?" We always have a theme that everyone has to conform to in order to participate. I gave my standard answer. "This year will be the Pimps & Hoes Ball. I will be coming naked." The funny part is that everyone seems to think that I am joking. Maybe I wouldn't go naked but I would be as close to it as possible. I might need help with the Saran Wrap.
*I actually blushed today. Victor was witness to this. I actually did it to myself. Have you ever said something out loud and not even realized that you said it? I was standing at my desk, right next to a lobby full of people, when I heard someone outside blowing their horn HARD. As soon as I said it I realized what I had done. The people in the lobby turned around and started looking at me. Let me explain. I have to act professional in front of the customers. I can do whatever I want in front of the staff. On another note, the staff had to take a sexual harassment awareness quiz this week. What did I say...."You horn blows. Do you?"
*Lisa(That's right bitch, I called you by your name) and I have decided to become lesbians. We have even worked out all of the positions that we will use. We just need two more volunteers....1 male and 1 female. Okay, so maybe not lesbian just bi.
*This last one is just for my benefit. HOLY SHIT! A hottie came into the bank today. I know who he is. I've even seen him out a few times awhile back. My question is...When the hell did he get so fine? I was actually starting to sweat. Damn!!!!
Default
AC/DC
You Shook Me All Night Long ...wishful thinking

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:58:00 AM :: 22 comments

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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Yes, I am a boring pervert.

It looks like I got tagged by Babyjewels. That's great because yet again I have nothing to write about .

10 Years Ago: I was living in my hometown of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. And you wondered why I like southern rock. For the record, I hate country music....most of it anyway. I had just broken off engagement number two with alcoholic number two. Yeah, I can pick em'. Don't worry. I'm older and wiser. Summers meant lakehouse parties. Winters meant snowskiing and seeing what type of havoc we could start on the slopes. I fell off from the ski-lift twice....not fun! I just turned 21 a few months prior so basically I was abusing my newfound legality. Bars, clubs, shaking my ass all night. It was a beautiful thing.
5 Years Ago: I was still living in Gatlinburg. I was the assistant manager of a hotel on the strip. If you haven't heard of Gatlinburg, let me enlighten you. It's a small town that can only be described as a tourist-trap. The surroundings are beautiful. The town is situated in a valley between the Great Smokey Mtns. The only problem with the area is that there isn't much to do. Technically, it was a dry county but each city had it's own set of by-laws. Gatlinburg was the only city in the county that could sell liquor, hence the only city with bars. That was great for me except for the fact that last call started at 12:30AM. You had to be out of the bar by 1:00AM. I did much of nothing this year. I worked. I played. I had a good time.
1 Year Ago: I had already moved to South Florida/Satan's Cesspool. I was working at ******* Bank as a Personal Banking Specialist. Basically, I opened accounts, did loans, and helped the oldest most miserable fuckers that I've ever seen in my life. I know that we should respect the elderly but you try it when they come in smelling like piss and shit (I wish I was joking) screaming at you because they can't balance their checkbook. Glad I'm not doing that job anymore. Now, I live in what can only be described as Alcohol County. You want to drink? You got it. You want a bar? You got it. Don't want to go home? There's a place a few blocks down that doesn't close until 8:00AM. I must admit, it is nice having everything within a five mile radius of my house.
Yesterday: Here's where I'll bore the hell out of you. I went to work then I went to the gym. That's all folks.
5 Snacks I Enjoy: This may sound strange but these are snacks to me.
1- spinach artichoke dip and chips with sour cream and salsa
2-carrots...I can eat an entire bag in one sitting
3-apples, oranges, grapes...basically any type of fruit
4-pasta salad
5-M&M's...gotta have my chocolate fix. They say if you eat enough chocolate it will give you a type of euphoria similar to sex. I haven't reached it yet but I'm still working on it.
5 Songs I Know All The Words To: You know I'm gonna link these bitches. I wanted to have a little variety this time.
Godsmack- Voodoo
Disturbed- Prayer
Foreigner- I wanna know what love is
Lee Ann Womack- I hope you dance
Usher- Yeah
5 Things I Would Do With $100 Million: I would like to say that I would give most to charity but let's be realistic. I'm a greedy bitch. I'm not saying that I would give some to charity. I just wouldn't give to large organizations. They always give me the impression that someone is getting their pockets lined. The first thing I would do when I got the check would be to tell my job to FUCK OFF! Everything after that would be gravy.
5 Places I Would Run Away To: I don't know if I would really want to run away but I do want to travel Europe. I want to ride in a gondola in Venice. I want to see Stonehenge. I want to see the Aztec ruins.
5 Things I Would Never Wear:
Purple, I hate this color for some reason and refuse to wear it.
Granny panties....I'm reaching here
sparkley/glittery clothing
Foundation on my face....I hate how it feels.
Banana clip....Anybody remember these?
5 Favorite TV Shows: I'm skipping this one. I don't watch the idiot box.
5 Biggest Joys:
SEX...You had to know that was coming
ORAL SEX...Ditto
The feeling of an adrelaline rush.
Music
Dancing
5 Favorite Toys: Oh, do I have five? I have a black one, a pink one, one that lights up....Sometimes I really can't help myself.
Twin #1
Twin#2- If you know me you know what I'm talking about
IPod Mini...My best friend at the gym.
Computer
Cell phone that takes pictures....You can get some good shots with one of those.

I'm finally done. I don't plan on tagging anyone but please feel free to steal this.

Posted by drunkbh :: 9:55:00 PM :: 17 comments

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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Carnal

It's late and I couldn't think of a damn thing to write to entertain myself. Therefore, I had to start looking elsewhere for amusement. I'm tired of these quizzes but this one is fairly amusing with some interesting questions. Okay, that was bullshit. I just liked the outcome plus it's mindless entertainment.
The Carnal Lover
50% partner focus, 76% aggressiveness, 85% adventurousness
Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, you concentrate more on enjoying the experience rather than worrying about your performance.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Carnal Lover.

The Carnal Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, though it is often confused with terms like "player" or even "slut." The Carnal Lover is not necessarily either of those things (though sometimes is) but is instead a lover of life, romance and pleasure. The Carnal Lover is a treasure to find, though can sometimes be difficult to keep happy once found, because a Carnal Lover often loves a variety-filled life.

In terms of physical love, the Carnal Lover tends to be dynamic and driven, and can therefore be quite pleasurable. Given the right motivation, and the right lover, the Carnal Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Surprising Lover (most of all) or the Devoted Lover, or the Liberated Lover.

Congratulations!

Thanks Again! --
THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST


I've got another little tid-bit for ya. I love Southern Rock. Bet you didn't know that. So, the song of the day is:

38 Special
Hold On Loosely



Posted by drunkbh :: 12:46:00 AM :: 21 comments

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Monday, September 05, 2005

My faith has been restored!!!!!

This was a busy, busy weekend. Friday I had to leave work early so I could come home and get ready for the 311/Papa Roach concert. That concert was okay. The pit was fairly tame. We did get directly in front center stage. Rather than talk about that, I want to get down to the good stuff...OZZFEST!

OH MY GOD!!!! Ozzfest kicked ass!!!! This was the last concert on the tour so things got a little crazy and I loved it! The people on the grass were throwing sod everywhere. At one point I looked back and all I saw were sod torpedoes flying everywhere. Half the people there were covered with dirt from head to toe. Again, I loved it! Women were having their tits painted and walking around with no shirts. Again, I loved it! I picked the tattoo that I want. I bought a real cool shirt. It says sex, drugs and rock-n-roll all over it....Tiny shirt that barely covers me. Yes, I changed into it there and no I'm not gonna post it here.

Good points of the night: Darkness Falls kicked ass!
Mudvayne kicked ass!
Ozzy kicked ass!
Rob Zombie kicked ass!

Bad points of the night: Rob Zombie should have been on the main stage. He was awesome. This was my first time seeing him live and I was thoroughly impressed.

Sidenotes: Happy Birthday to HighMaintenanceHussy! You still look great babe! People, quit fucking harassing Badgod and Musie! Grow the fuck up! If they don't share your political views, it doesn't make them stupid. What's stupid is people that can't accept any opinion other than their own!

Posted by drunkbh :: 4:19:00 PM :: 17 comments

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Thursday, September 01, 2005

Thought for the day....

What posesses someone to decide to become a gynecologist? Do they wake up one day and say "Hey, I wanna look at pussy all day"? Here's a better question. Do you ever wonder if they catch a little wood sometimes? I do. I actually do my best to try to embarress mine. I say things like "Oh, so do you have anything bigger than that?"

Here's my theory on the situation. I go into a room and get completely naked. Then, the Dr. comes in and tells me what he plans on doing....like I don't already know. Basically, they get to finger you and put the speculum/dildo in you. Then they ask "Do you do your own breast exams?" Even if I answer yes, they still give me one.

To make a long story short, I get fingered and fondled once a year by a man that I barely know. All I keep thinking is "He should be paying ME for this shit!"

Sidenote: I did a guest post on Kristen's blog. Check it out.

Posted by drunkbh :: 8:16:00 PM :: 35 comments

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