Dirty Blonde

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Snowflake

I met you in the summer of '04

I first thought of you as a bitch

I later learned you were a whore

I promised Snowflake that I would dedicate a post to her. I have learned a few things about her since I first met her. Snowflake has the biggest set of balls I've ever seen on a woman. They are so fuckin' big that she needs to sling them around her neck in order to be able to walk around. Snowflake also has more plastic inserted into various parts of her body than should be humanly possible. By now, she probably owns 90% of the stock in Rubbermaid. Snowflake doesn't know how to do anything. To her credit, she freely admits that she's an imbecile.

I will admit that Snowflake is a lot of fun to go out with. Once, we talked a guy into putting our camera down his pants and taking a picture. Men, if you are asked to do this, please make sure that everything is trimmed before agreeing. I'm still not sure if his dick was just that small or if there was just too much winter-bush blocking the view. We got duplicates of that shit. Speaking of cameras, Snowflake thought it would be fun to take a picture of me taking a piss at the bar restroom. She held the camera over the stall door and took the picture. That film has yet to be developed since I have possession of it.

Snowflake also can't spell worth a shit. Last week, I found cancer sticks written on my cigarettes. Here's the conversation.

Me: VIC!!!! (Thinking that he was the one that did it.)

Snowflake: That was me.

Me: really? I didn't think it was you because it was spelled correctly.

Snowflake: Actually, I did screw up. I forgot the T in stick. It just didn't look right. Then I realized what it was.

I wish this conversation was a joke but it's not. Bitch can't spell.

Snowflake has horrible taste in men. Her last man lasted 17 seconds to 2 minutes maximum. Can you believe that shit? How can a man that is out of his teens blow his wad that soon? That would be just enough to piss me off. I'd tell the little bastard to get down there and finish the job.

Snowflake, I guess the real question is what cock are you sucking to keep this job?

Posted by drunkbh :: 5:59:00 PM :: 23 comments