Friday, November 04, 2005

How it all began

I met JH in September of 2001. My first impression was that she was a really sweet girl. Didn't seem like the type that really partied...probably still a virgin. This is one of the reasons that I have learned never to trust first impressions. First impressions sure can be deceiving. We started going to local bars and just hanging out. That's when we learned of each other's love of music. JH prefers Rock and Punk. I prefer more of a variety with a tendency towards Hard Rock/Industrial Metal.

Fast forward about 3 years- We start talking about an upcoming concert...Velvet Revolver-JH's favorite. I thought they were good but nothing that's going to get me hot and bothered. We began to make our plans. It seemed simple enough. I was off on the day that the tickets went on sale. It was my job to get the tickets on Ticketmaster/Ticketmasterbator. The tickets went on sale at noon. I sat at my computer at 11:50 ready get my pit tickets. It had already been decided that we had to get in the pit. This was to be my first concert with one of my girls. I wanted to experience as much as I could. Anyways, at noon I began searching for tickets on Ticketmasterbator. For any of you that have ever been on Ticketmasterbator, you know what a drawn out, agonizing process that it is. You have to select the number of tickets then the seating preference. After that is completed, you must type in the idiotic word that appears and wait for them to find the tickets. The best seats that I could find were about 12 rows back. This went on for about 4 hours. The seats kept getting worse. Finally, I decided to take another route before I had a nervous breakdown. I began checking various ticket broker sites. The prices were ridiculous. They wanted $350.00 per ticket. If I am going to get screwed that good, I at least expect a phone call afterwards. My last option was E-bay. After being outbid twice, I took the purchase now option. After all was said and done, I shelled out $248.00 for 2 tickets that were originally $80.00 each. Although I didn't receive a call afterwards, at least I got good feedback. I guess you can't win them all.

Day of concert- To say that I was amped would have been an understatement. Our plan was to get there about an hour before the concert was to start. That would give us time to get a few beers and find a good place in the pit. Things never go according to plan. After starting out 15 minutes late, we began the hour drive to the venue. That's when the downpour began. Karma was not in our favor during the drive. We finally made it to the concert about 30 minutes before it started. This was after about 3 u-turns because we couldn't find the regular parking. All we could find was the Premier Parking for $20.00 and VIP Parking which wasn't even obtainable. So we shelled out another $20.00 for the Premier Parking, which came in handy later. It was still pouring while we ran inside. I shouldn't say inside because this was an outdoor venue. The only thing covered is the stage and seats. We looked like drowned rats by the time we made it past the gate. The first stop was to get beer then we could get under cover. By the time we got in the pit, the front was already taken. We scoped out the scene trying to figure out the best place to squeeze our way up front. We finally decided on a location that seemed to be filled with mostly younger men. We would just flirt our way up front. Yes, women are very conniving. It's amazing how slow times goes when you are waiting for something. I believe I drank 3 beers in a matter of 30 minutes waiting for the concert to begin. I was unsuccessful in talking the security guard into getting our beers for us. He said he would but when it came down to it he didn't go. Damn these men that take their jobs seriously. After beer #3, the biker came up to us. JH believes he was a warlock. A huge lightbulb went off in my head. He can get us up front. I know..conniving. So, we began to talk to the biker. He actually turned out to be the coolest person that we met that night. He cleared a place for us to dance. He kept shoving all the guys around us saying "Look, look, let them dance. Give them room!" He gave us a card that read WARLOCKS Motorcycle Club- Fight, Fuck & Ride Motorcycles. Love the card, still have it. After the opening band(a local no-name) started, he went with JH to get another beer. He was our guarantee that she would get back up front with me...conniving. All went well until they were on their way back. Biker got into a fight with some other guy. Needless to say we lost him. There goes our protection. That's when we found our next targets. Dan and Mike. They were standing directly in front of us. Ahh..ha, they would let us in front of them, then we would be directly in front of the stage...conniving. It was going pretty good so far.Things started to get a little wild from this point on. I was starting to feel the effects of drinking 3/4 beers too fast. I have a 4 drink maximum. After that, I will be hugging the porcelain god. Hoobastank, the supporting act, came on second. The pit suddenly became a lot smaller. I had worked my way in front of Mike with JH by my side. We were pretty much lusting after the lead guitar player. The best part was that he was checking us out too. This might have been because we were the only females in the pit that didn't look like bulldogs, but I'll take it as a compliment either way. During Hoobastank's set, our time was divided between messing with Dan and Mike, eyeing the guitar player, dancing/grinding on each other and flirting with the security guard...I still wanted him to go get us beers.

When the shit hit the fan-Supporting act leaves and Velvet Revolver comes on. Suddenly the pit went apeshit. I grabbed a hold of Dan and held on for dear life. Being the only females in the pit suddenly became a drawback. Things didn't calm down until they were into their 3rd or 4th song. By this time, I was officially drunk, which is why JH gave the the name Drunk Bitch. When I am drunk, my mind can't keep up with my mouth. All those rude things that I normally wouldn't say come spilling out like a fountain. I have always been straightforward but I know how to edit myself. Alcohol takes away my internal edit button. Enough about my self-proclaimed perverted bitchiness. JH and I were dancing/grinding and basically putting on a better show than what was on stage. That's when I heard some guy behind me saying something in Spanish that I thought was puta, which means slut. I knew he wasn't talking to us but I had to turn around and ask "Did you just say puta?" The guy started laughing and said "I would never say that in front of such a beautiful woman" Like I'm supposed to fall for bullshit like that. The only reason I talked to him was because I thought that I recognized one of the few Spanish words that I know. We began to go over my small knowledge of Spanish obscenities. I was actually worried about my top being pulled down because I wore a tube top. Little did I know that my ass would be the target that night. I turned around because I was done talking to puta-boy. I never did catch his name. I proceed to start dancing again. Isn't that what you are supposed to do at a concert? Suddenly, I notice that someone's groping my ass. At first, I think that it is JH putting on a show for our audience. When I finally turn around, it's not JH with a handful of ass but puta-boy. I said "Okay, you've had enough of my ass. Leave it alone." That's when he started on JH. He started dancing behind her. I can only assume that he was grabbing her ass as well because the next thing she knew her belt was being undone. I'm sure you're wondering how this could happen and us not notice these things. While all of this was going on we were still being pushed and shoved in different directions. In the pit there is no such thing as personal space. I'm not sure how she got rid of puta-boy, but he was finally gone. I began to dance with JH again, I thought. I felt her hands around my waist. Suddenly, the hands start going up my stomach and down my legs. I look down and see some really big hands, not JH. I think it was Mike but to be honest I can't say for sure. It stopped when I turned around. Yes, we still had Mike and Dan there to protect us. The crowd started getting wilder again. I got hit in the head a few times by body-surfers. This has to be the dumbest move you can make at a concert. You get floated around on top of the crowd hoping to make it over the gate. If you happen to make it there your ass is gone. Security will grab you as soon as you're within reach and promptly kick you out. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00 you fucking idiot. I was having a great time until some asswipe decided to rush the stage with his arms swinging wildly. I ,of course, got elbowed in the eye. That shit HURT! I turned around and started screaming at asswipe "What the fuck is your problem? You just hit me in the eye." He just stopped and looked at me like a deer caught in headlights. I was ready to fight. I was going to fight. If he had said sorry I would have calmed down but instead he just kept that blank expression on his face. That's when Mike grabbed him and shoved him back. This ,of course, led to punches swinging. Woo-hoo! That's fight #2 we started. I felt like such a bad girl then. JH asked me what the hell was wrong with me for trying to take on a 6ft tall guy. Don't know. At that moment, it really needed to be done. I wasn't worried about the consequences then...isn't it amazing how alcohol can make you feel like your 10ft tall and bulletproof. For someone that's 5'4 118lbs that's quite an accomplishment. I believe that I made it out of the pit without being fondled or hit after that. I'm not sure about the fondled but I know that I didn't get hit anymore.

In the end- After the last song, we said our goodbyes and thanks to Dan and Mike. You didn't think that we were going to go home with them, did you? As if! On our way out, we meet Jam. No joke this is a real name. I had to ask him a few times because I couldn't get over it. I wonder if any siblings are named Jelly . Truthfully, I don't remember how we met him. JH said he started talking to me as we walking out towards the vending area. My first memory of him was when JH and I were at the booth to buy t-shirts. I felt someone groping my ass again. Jam! I don't recall having any type of conversation with him before he felt the need to check out the goods. Thankfully it was only one grope. He stopped when told to. JH and I became enthralled with a conversation with the girl selling t-shirts. She looked exactly like Katie Holmes. She said that she hears that all the time and hates it because Katie has herpes. She didn't like being compared to a girl with herpes. Who would? This of course was news to me. Watch out Tom. Maybe your Scientology can cure her without any medication. EEEWW! We ended up buying two shirts at $40.00 each. It is a must to buy a shirt at each concert as a memento. I had my own little memento on my eye which didn't turn it's pretty bluish-purple until the next morning. We finally made our way to the car with Jam following close behind. This is where the Premier Parking came in handy. It was actually pretty close which was a good thing because I was plastered by then. Jam kept asking for our phone number which we never gave. When we got to the car, we asked him to take our picture. It turned out pretty good considering what we had been through. I look pretty sober and JH looks drunk. He finally left saying he would call us. Obviously, he was just as drunk as me because he still had not gotten our number. Yeah buddy, you call me at 1-800-DUMBASS! We were finally ready to go home. The drive home went fairly well until I decided to light up a cigarette. Within 5 seconds I said "Pull over!" JH pulled over for me and opened the door....Ralph. We were on a busy highway and I'm hanging out the car like an idiot. I felt like a teenager that has no business drinking. That night and the next morning wasn't any better. I had a hangover for most of the next day.

Was it all worth it? The total cost was around $400.00 including the beers at $7.00 a pop. I had the hangover of my life and a blackeye. After all that, how could we want to go back? How could we not? I'm not saying it's better than sex but it's damn close. We had tickets for every rock concert that came within driving distance afterwards. It became an addiction. There's nothing that beats the euphoria of it.There you have it. How it all began. I'm sure it wasn't as entertaining for you as it was for me. I'll guarantee that I left things out but part of the night was a blur. This was the story of how a rockwhore is made.
Posted by drunkbh :: 12:10:00 AM :: 15 comments

Post a Comment

-------------------------------------