Dirty Blonde

Friday, October 28, 2005

I should never be left alone in the dark

There was a few electrical problems last night. It gave me a chance to think inward. Okay, not really. I just pondered stupid shit as usual. For instance: Does anybody remember all the stupid shit your parents told you as a child that you actually believed? What if they were all true?

Step on a crack, break you mother's back. I can attest that this is absolutely false. After many attempts, my mother was still walking around fine. If it was true, imagine how fast repairs would be done. You wouldn't be calling the city for months asking them to make the necessary repairs. Somebody's wife would be saying "Get your ass out there now and fix that shit."
Canker sores are actually lie bumps. You get them by telling a lie. Yep, this was one that I heard when I was a child. If I ever got one, NOBODY knew about it. If this was true, I would be up shit creek without a paddle. I have enough trouble lying as it is. Anbesol and Orajel would no longer be kept with the mouth products. It would now be in the "You've been a bad boy/girl section. You know the one. It's the same place they keep the shampoos for crabs.
If you keep making that face it will stay like that. This is my favorite one. Guess what was the first thing that popped into my head? What if you were giving a blowjob and the guy had Jedi mind control over his penis? He's not cumming and your face is staying like that forever. What kind of life would you have after that? Then again, you might get a lot more dates. After all, they would know you blow.
Santa Clause only brings toys to the good little boys and girls. I was bad bad bad and I still got presents. Let's just say that Santa was real and that only good boys and girls got presents. This would be condemning all the good boys and girls to get the shit beat out of them every Christmas. All the rest of us would beat them up and steal all their presents. They're not going to do anything. They're good. Damn, I like being bad.

There you have it. I thought of more but I've slept since then so only a little nugget remained. I really must make better use of my time.

Song of the day. Yep, I'm back to that. Who remembers Eddie & the Cruisers? Guess what. Eddie wasn't singing. It was John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band. This song was a bitch to find. Plus, for some reason it's showing some Stargate clips instead of a video. It's the best I could find.

On The Darkside

Posted by drunkbh :: 11:35:00 AM :: 7 comments