Dirty Blonde

Dirty Blonde

Monday, October 31, 2005

Move over Siskell & Ebert

I had absolutely nothing better to do today than rate movies. These are only my personal opinions. In my world they are the law. Unfortunately, they don't seem to matter as much in the real world. So, I might as well get on with the law...ummm, I mean my opinions.

Best Movie Based On A Book
I have to give this to The Lord Of The Rings. I realize that the movies did leave out a lot of the books. However, they would of had to make at least three more movies in order to cover the entire series. I have to give the Harry Potter series their props as well. They are more like the books than the Rings trilogy but they are just lacking that extra something that makes the difference between good and great.

Worst Movie Based On A Book
It by Stephen King wins this one. The movie was loosely based ,at best, on the book. I can't even begin to describe how bad this movie sucked. Even if I had never read the book ,which can make you biased, I still would have thought that it sucked.

Worst Sequel
Highlander:The Quickening. I have a brilliant idea. Let's take a cult classic and completely go against the entire basis of the movie. They took the lead character from being a human who learned he was immortal in the first movie to being an alien that was vanquished to Earth in the sequel. They should have left the original alone. Then again, I don't like sequels. After all, "There can be only one"

The Movie I thought I Would Hate But Didn't
I almost ashamed to admit this one. I loved Jackass. When I saw the previews, I swore it looked like the most idiotic movie. When I finally saw it, I laughed my ass off. There are a few skits that are stupid but overall it was hilarious. Give a bunch of immature men the means to do whatever they want and this is what you get. Also, Johnny Knoxville is from Knoxville, TN. Right next to my hometown. I had to throw that in.

Best Overall Movie
Legends of the Fall. This movie has everything... war, sex, romance, friendships, family bonds and Adian Quinn. I'll bet you thought I was going to sat Brad Pitt. Nope, I've had a thing for Mr. Quinn since he was in Reckless. Plus, he has the best scene in the movie when he shoots the sheriff and then cocks the gun.

Posted by drunkbh :: 1:06:00 AM :: 15 comments

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

The Learning Curve

I've learned a few things this past week. Some of the things are about myself and others are about the people around me.

1- Disasters can bring out the best in people. I've lived here 4 years and have barely talked to any of my neighbors. Monday morning I looked outside and saw my car buried under a tree. When I looked outside after the storm had passed, my neighbors were outside with a chainsaw cutting away at the tree. It took 4 men about an hour to get it all cleared away. They've started having a communial barbeque every night so that people would have a hot meal. I know most of their names now but I'm still not sure which child belongs to who.

2- Gas is harder to get than heroine..... Not that I would know how to get heroine. There are only two gas stations working in my town and they each have a line about a mile long from 6am until 10pm even though we still have a curfew. This brings me to another point. Disasters can also bring out the worst in people. I've seen fights in the the line. I almost saw a riot last night when the police told people to go home. They were pushing the cop back and yelling at her until more cops came. I guess I would be pissed to if I had waited hours only to be told to go away. I live across the street from the gas station. I have yet to have to attempt to get gas. Yes, my car is still drivable.

3- I fucking miss milk. No one has any perishable items. I can make coffee but I have no creamer or milk. I could brave a 4 hour wait at the store to get some evaporated milk but I just don't have the patience. I have a deal with the neighbors that whomever finds milk will buy several gallons so everyone doesn't have to search for it.

4- I loved what it looked like outside when there was no electricity. When I walked outside it was soooooo dark. The only light was from the stars. Some people might find this creepy but I loved it. It reminded me of my grandmothers house in Tennessee. There were no streetlights to light the way. You could just see the outline of the trees against the sky. I walked outside just to observe..... no streetlights, no traffic. All I heard was the wind in the trees. All of this brought me solace for some reason. I love the dark.

5- I am lucky. I've talked to a few of my friends. Some of them no longer have a house. Some of them still have a house but it's uninhabitable now. One of them has her husband stuck at an airport and she doesn't have the gas to make it down there to get him. One of them lost their business. The entire building was destroyed. They still have a house but now they can't pay for it with no income. I got a dent in the roof of my car.... I am lucky.

Posted by drunkbh :: 4:00:00 AM :: 24 comments

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Friday, October 28, 2005

I should never be left alone in the dark

There was a few electrical problems last night. It gave me a chance to think inward. Okay, not really. I just pondered stupid shit as usual. For instance: Does anybody remember all the stupid shit your parents told you as a child that you actually believed? What if they were all true?

Step on a crack, break you mother's back. I can attest that this is absolutely false. After many attempts, my mother was still walking around fine. If it was true, imagine how fast repairs would be done. You wouldn't be calling the city for months asking them to make the necessary repairs. Somebody's wife would be saying "Get your ass out there now and fix that shit."
Canker sores are actually lie bumps. You get them by telling a lie. Yep, this was one that I heard when I was a child. If I ever got one, NOBODY knew about it. If this was true, I would be up shit creek without a paddle. I have enough trouble lying as it is. Anbesol and Orajel would no longer be kept with the mouth products. It would now be in the "You've been a bad boy/girl section. You know the one. It's the same place they keep the shampoos for crabs.
If you keep making that face it will stay like that. This is my favorite one. Guess what was the first thing that popped into my head? What if you were giving a blowjob and the guy had Jedi mind control over his penis? He's not cumming and your face is staying like that forever. What kind of life would you have after that? Then again, you might get a lot more dates. After all, they would know you blow.
Santa Clause only brings toys to the good little boys and girls. I was bad bad bad and I still got presents. Let's just say that Santa was real and that only good boys and girls got presents. This would be condemning all the good boys and girls to get the shit beat out of them every Christmas. All the rest of us would beat them up and steal all their presents. They're not going to do anything. They're good. Damn, I like being bad.

There you have it. I thought of more but I've slept since then so only a little nugget remained. I really must make better use of my time.

Song of the day. Yep, I'm back to that. Who remembers Eddie & the Cruisers? Guess what. Eddie wasn't singing. It was John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band. This song was a bitch to find. Plus, for some reason it's showing some Stargate clips instead of a video. It's the best I could find.

On The Darkside

Posted by drunkbh :: 11:35:00 AM :: 7 comments

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Thursday, October 27, 2005

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

Pay Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:

1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I don't get paid overtime.
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8. I work in high temperatures, and my work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1. You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative- - - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift..
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire well before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

Posted by drunkbh :: 8:45:00 PM :: 9 comments

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

FUCK WILMA!!!!!!!!!

Fuck Wilma and fuck FEMA.

When I said that I was freaked out Monday, I lied. I was fucking scared. My bed had started shaking from the winds. I could see entire trees flying down the streets. I spoke too soon when I said that a tree missed my car. Tree # 1 missed my car. Tree #2 missed my car. Tree #3 centered my car. Of course this was the biggest tree. Let's not forget that tree #4 took the corner off my house.

No electricity, no water and Nextel was out. I just got electricity. Cold showers suck ass! I guess the water wasn't such a big deal since we were not allowed to drink or bathe in it anyway.

FEMA are fucking idiots! They ship all the ice and water down to Miami where it is not needed. Their water is still drinkable. Broward county got hit the hardest of anywhere in the state. Guess where I live. They promised us ice and water yesterday at certain locations starting at noon. They never showed up! The trucks were stuck in Marathon waiting to be feuled. Guess what dumbasses? Why not try to get the supplies to the hardest hit areas first. Broward county has just now been approved for assistance from FEMA. Imagine all the people that waited outside for 7 hours for ice and water only to be told that it wouldn't be coming. These people were waiting in their cars while their gas was running out. Did I tell you that there is not a single gas station in the county working? No electricity= no gas.

Here's what happened:
Wilma hit the west side of Florida at a category 3. She slowed down to a category 2 while moving over the Everglades. Then, she started to intensify back to a category 3 as she passed Broward. It seems that hurricanes are more destructive as they are intensifying. Add that to the fact that the eye passed directy over us. My town is fucked. It really is sad to go out and look at all the destruction everywhere. Half the buildings here are gone. There are barely any trees left standing. There's not a single traffic light still hanging.

Posted by drunkbh :: 6:58:00 PM :: 31 comments

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Monday, October 24, 2005

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

THE GOOD
Wilma is coming.
The bank is closed Monday.
I am off Tuesday.

THE BAD
Wilma is coming.
She is now a category 3.
She will probably pick up speed as she passes the Everglades.

THE UGLY
Wilma is coming.
I have tickets to Nine Inch Nails tomorrow night.
The show is postponed.
Fuck Wilma.

Posted by drunkbh :: 1:23:00 AM :: 23 comments

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Friday, October 21, 2005

Bitching and a promise

I have to bitch a little bit. I've been complaining about this for a week now so why not put it on my blog? I hate public restrooms. I mean I really fucking hate them. I was in restroom hell the entire trip down to Orlando and back.
Reasons

They are disgusting.... Piss and shit everywhere. No one washes their hands. Eeewwwww!
Toilets that flush automatically. You walk in and start to squat(no sitting on those nasty bitches) and the fucker flushes. After you're done you stand up and it doesn't flush. You wave your hand in front of it and it still doesn't flush. You pretend to sit down and stand up about twenty times and it still doesn't flush. Finally, you must touch the little button in order to flush it. They place this button on the back of the toilet directly in the middle.... Impossible to flush with your foot therefore breaking rule #1 of public restrooms (don't touch anything).
Automatic sinks. These are almost as bad as automatic toilets. You put your hands under about 10 different faucets before one actually works. Then ,as you are lathering, the fucking water stops. You wave you hand up and down in front of the sensor to no avail. So, you must search again for a faucet that works. When you find one that works, you must hold your hands just so otherwise it will cut off again.
I do have one good thing to say about public restrooms.... Automatic paper towel dispensers. I haven't had one malfunction yet and I don't have to touch anything. Hell yeah!

On to my promise. I promised someone today that I would do an audiopost. After two tries, it finally worked. For some reason, it posted below this one. Fuck it. At least it worked.

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:37:00 PM :: 22 comments

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this is an audio post - click to play

Posted by drunkbh :: 1:12:00 AM :: 14 comments

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Thursday, October 20, 2005

I got nothing

I have nothing interesting today. Due to that fact, I'll share an e-mail that was passed between Terri and I today. (Are you happy I spelled your name right bitch?)

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:47 PM
To: Terri

SLUT!!!!!
I mean that in the most respectful manner. :>)

-----Original Message-----
From: Terri
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:51 PM
To: Me

You must be lonely back there without your partner in crime to smoke with:-)
TOO BAD she is off today. Go smoke by your self and leave me the hell alone--------
Your just jealous anyways. God did not make you as beautiful as me:-):-):-):-)
Life sucks huh--go commit suicide and again--Leave me the HELL alone

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:52 PM
To: Terri

Can you please share some of the crack-rock that you've been smoking today? I want to be as delusional as you are.
Oh.... Again, SLUT

---Original Message-----
From: Terri
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:55 PM
To: Me

It not nice to talk about your mother that way. You know she actually had to get f**k to have you. Plus, when you came out, she had to go get drunk due to the fact you are deformed.
:-)

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:59 PM
To: Terri

Should I correct all the grammatical mistakes? Nah! You're a redneck slut. I wouldn't expect anything less from you. Oh, I'm glad you finally learned about the birds and the bees. Yes, you do have to be fucked in order to get pregnant. I know where you are from it is acceptable to substitute a cow for a man but around here we don't do those things. So please, clean the cow cum off your chin.
Love ya.... You slut!
*At this point, she turned red, looked up at me smiling from across the branch and wiped her chin off*

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 4:25 PM
To: Terri

Scared now?

-----Original Message-----
From: Terri
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 4:41 PM
To: Me

No, unlike you, I have to take care of customer issues (I am a REAL manager). I don't just act like one on TV.....Like you dooooooooooooo

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 4:43 PM
To: Terri

TV huh? When do I get paid for this shit then? I thought you knew it was my job to sit here and look pretty all day. By the way, my desk is the only one that does not have a camera on it.

And, of all people, you should not refer to yourself as REAL.

SLUT!

-----Original Message-----
From: Terri
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 4:47 PM
To: Me

You are lucky I don't come back there and kick you AXX since I would not be caught on camera..........

Is that why you are on your knees all the time...Mark can't see you on the camera in his room

-----Original Message-----
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 4:48 PM
To: Terri

I'm on my knees all the time because I'm good at it, unlike you. Maybe Mark put me back here for that reason. Did you ever think of that?

As you can see, we had a real productive day at work.

Posted by drunkbh :: 1:58:00 AM :: 18 comments

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Guide

Always remember to make a woman happy.
-Do something she likes, and you get points.
- Do something she dislikes and you lose points.
- You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
(Hey, it's her game... You might as well learn how to play, right?)

First, the SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed............................ +1
You make the bad, but forget to add decorative pillows......-1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......... -2
You leave the toilet seat up................ -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty........ +5
When toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex....... -1
When the Kleenes runs out you use the other bathroom....... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...... +5
in the rain..........+8
but return with beer............ -1
and no pads............. -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night........... +1
You check out a suspicious and it is nothing........ nada
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.... +5
You pummel it with a six iron....... +10
It's her cat........ -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.............. nada
You stay by her side for a while, then leave with a drinking buddy.... -2
Named Tiffany....... -20
Tiffany is a dancer.......... -50
With breast implants...... -100

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday............ +1
You buy her a card and flowers........... +2
You take her out to dinner......... +5
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar........ +6
Okay, it is a sports bar........... -20
And it's all-you-can-eat night........ -30
It's a sports bar, it's all you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team....... -40

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal........ nada
The pal is happily married............ +1
The pal is single............. -10
He drives a Ferrari.......... -20
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie........ +2
You take her to a movie she likes......... +5
You take her to a movie you hate............ +8
You take her to a movie you like....... -5
it's called Death Cop III......... -10
it features Cyborgs that eat humans............ -15
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........... -20

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticable pot belly........ -15
You develop a noticble pot belly & exercise to get rid of it........ +10
You develop a noticable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts......... -30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."............ -1000

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding............. -10
You reply, "Where?"............... -35
You reply, "No, honey, I think it's your butt."........ GAME OVER!!!

This was a e-mail that I found today. It was amusing enough to share.

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:42:00 AM :: 26 comments

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Monday, October 17, 2005

The Birds & the Bees & 28 STDs

I am on the recovery. HHN was ummm...... interesting. Does anyone know the meaning of cluster-fuck? They had big guys running around with chainsaws cranking those bitches at everyone. There were people in masks jumping out and scaring everyone. I couldn't help but laugh when they tried to scare me. I got over my fear of ghosts and goblins a long time ago....except for the monster under the bed. Basically, HHN is a big park filled over capacity with half of the people shit-faced drunk. I won't go into details about everything that happened but I'll give a few highlights.

We accomplished all of our goals.
I got a henna tattoo on my stomach. It's confirmed. A real one shall follow soon. I love it!
I spent 2 hours last night getting the tangles out of my hair from the night before.
The rides are much better at night especially when you are drunk.
I learned an entire new meaning for the term "Sit & spin."
Bob Evans sucks ass!
I can fall asleep mid-conversation.
It is possible to drink for 12 hours straight and not vomit. I'm not sure how we did it.
My friends seem to think that it's odd that I bring my own soap & shampoo to a hotel. I'm not using the shit they provide.
I fullfilled my obligation on the challenge. We just have to see if the pics turn out.

Here's a little story that happened this weekend.

Fourth Date

Gas money to Orlando= $30.00
2 tickets to HHN= $120.00
Hotel room= $60.00
Diner= $120.00
Wine= $50.00
Spending $380.00 on the 4th date & not getting any pussy= Priceless

If you're wondering what the title means, it was a billboard that I was on the way home. It amused the hell out of me.

FYI- The Cowboys beat the Giants last night. The Bucs beat the shit out of the Dolphins. Today is gonna be a fun day at work.

Song of the day

Trapt

Posted by drunkbh :: 7:39:00 AM :: 17 comments

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Saturday, October 15, 2005

Halloween Horror Nights

I will be taking my leave in exactly six hours. We're off to Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights.
Roll call
Me
Victor
Joan
Amy
Terry
DJ- He's going with other friends and renting a house.
This is just the people that work at the bank. There will be several others as well. I'm sharing a room with Joanie. I hope the hotel isn't a dump. I won't mention who Victor is sharing a room with. *Cough* *Cough* *Amy* This ,my friend, is how rumors get started.

There are no specific plans for the night. We will drink. We will ride a few rides. We will drink. We will go to the clubs at Citywalk. We will drink.

Gameplan
Get trashed
Stay out of jail
Do not wake up hugging the porcelain god

On another note, I am wide awake at 4am. This would be because I didn't go to sleep lastnight until 5am. I got a little distracted. That would have been fine if I didn't have to be at work today at 7am. I don't function well on 2 hours of sleep. I'm surprised I made it through the day. I managed to make it home, eat and fall asleep. I woke up a little while ago and I still haven't managed to pack anything. I guess I will pack and then go back to bed. I can't stay up for 6 hours amusing myself. Well, I can but......

Fuck....I just realized that I hadn't used any profanity yet. That can not be tolerated.

Due to upcumming events, I decided to crank it up a bit. You gotta love a song that starts out with "Can you feel that? Aaahhhhh shit!"

Disturbed

Down With The Sickness

Posted by drunkbh :: 3:51:00 AM :: 8 comments

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Friday, October 14, 2005

How many licks does it take??????

Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?
Hmmm....Lets's see

One......

Two......

Three......

Four......

Crunch!.....I guess the world will never know.

You're about to find out (at least my version). How many licks does it take? I guess that would depend on who's doing it and how well they do it.

THE Y

Guys, if you want to get to the center of her tootsie pop, you have to know how to work it. It's not a race. There's not a prize for who finishes first. Slow it down.

Take your time.

Touch it.

Taste it.

Start on the outside and work your way in. Use you hands...your fingers...your tongue. If she wants, use your teeth...light nibbling. Tease her. Make her want more. Go around the clit, grazing it occasionally. Pay attention to her breathing. Deep breaths means she's enjoying it. Short, shallow breaths usually means she's cumming.

Some women like it gentle. Some like it rough. Some like it gentle at first and then rough. If she's not willing or able to tell you what she likes then you'll have to figure it out. If she grabs your hair and pulls you into her, chances are that you're doing it correctly.

If you can't do it right, please just skip this step and move on. There's nothing worse than a guy that doesn't know how to eat out.

On to other things. I have been challenged. I took the challenge before I got all the details. So, currently, I am working out the details with him. Pictures should follow. Yes, the challenge involved posting pictures.

BIG NEWS

It's big new to me anyway. Will made me Friday's WOW girl at The Trailer Of Love. Go check it out. NOW!

Guilty pleasure of the day:

Lifehouse

Somewhere In Between

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:58:00 PM :: 13 comments

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Thursday, October 13, 2005

Hell Yeah

For those of you that don't know, most banks work on a fiscal year from October to October. This happens to be the time of year that annual reviews must be done and submitted for approval. The fucking reviews are 10 pages long. I had more reviews to do than anyone and less time because I was away for a week. This would explain my pissed off attitude for the week.

Well, I'm done. Can I get a HELL FUCKIN' YEAH?????? Damn, I feel good now!

There will be a real post tonight, I promise. No teasing! Really!

Countdown: 1 workday and 3 hrs driving...no speeding Vic!

Posted by drunkbh :: 5:01:00 PM :: 5 comments

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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I'm bored!

I have sunk to entirely new levels. I am now posting from work only to say that I am bored. I have begun harassing the employees to amuse myself. It takes me to my happy place. The AC is broke so we are roasting our asses off. They can't fix it. A new unit has been ordered. I don't give a fuck if it is October. We're in Florida. HOTTTTTTTT

Oh...sex post tonight! Already got it planned. I'm pitiful.

Posted by drunkbh :: 1:57:00 PM :: 24 comments

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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Update

Why am I posting mid-day? Hmmmm... Because it sucks mad fucking cock! I'm moving! I fucking hate Florida. I'm not going back to inbredville either.

Patience= 0%
Calmness= 0%
Irrititation= 90%
Pissed Off= 100%

Fuck me! I need a fucking change!

Posted by drunkbh :: 2:26:00 PM :: 17 comments

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Fuel

I am just too damn lazy to write anything. It's strictly music today. Good band. Good song. Good lyrics.

Fuel
Falls On Me

I've seen you hangin' round
This darkness where I'm bound
And this black hole I've dug for me
And silenty within
With hands touching skin
The shock breaks my disease
and I can breathe
And all of your weight
And all you dream
falls on me, it falls on me.
And your beautiful sky
the light you bring
falls on me, it falls on me.
Your faith like the pain
Draws me in again
She washes all my wounds for me
The darkness in my veins
I never could explain
And I wonder if you ever see
Will you still believe?
(chorus)
Am I that strong
to carry on
I might change your life
I might save my world
could you save me?
(Chorus x2)

So, I do have something else for you. Same band but kinda scary. I kept looking for track marks on his arms. Doesn't even look like the same person.

Posted by drunkbh :: 1:04:00 AM :: 9 comments

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Sunday, October 09, 2005

Tagged again!

I've been tagged by my twin separated at birth, Nameless. If I dream about her ass, is that incest?
I wish I got tagged this much in real life.
10 Things I wish would come back.

1- Keith
2- Screaming orgasms, not the drink
3- My ability to play pool. I used to be able to kick anyone's ass. Now, I'm ashamed to pick up a stick.
4- Caramel Corn. Not the shit you buy at the store either. The kind that you would buy at the candystore as a child. You could smell it a few blocks down the road....Almost as good as #2.
5- My patience. I'm not sure if I ever had any but I think that at one point in my life I must have.
6- My ability to wear stillettos for any extended period of time. I broke my foot 2 years ago and I can only wear them for a few hours. Hey, I'm short damnit. I need the extra height.
7- S'mores. The real ones. They can only be done over a campfire. I'm sure somewhere there are people still doing this. You try standing next to a campfire in Florida. I'd be cooked before the fucking marshmallow.
8- Hospitality. Please, thank you, you're welcome...Where the fuck did these go? I grew up in the hospitality business. Yes, I can carry on a perfectly normal, polite conversation and you wouldn't have a clue that I'm a closet freak.
9- Sleepless nights...I'll let you come to your own conclusion on that one.
10- Age 25.

Being in Tennessee for a week made me realize one thing. The music there sucks ass. If you don't like country, you're fucked! I did find a classic rock station which got me by for a week along with my ipod. This brings me to the song of the day, which is also the first concert I ever went to. It wasn't that long ago. I'm still 25 damnit!

Bad Company

'How About That'

Posted by drunkbh :: 1:43:00 PM :: 26 comments

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Thursday, October 06, 2005

I'm still here

Don't expect too much from me on this post. I have one of the worst hangovers I've ever had. Lastnight, I went to a local bar to hear a band that I've known since I was a teen. They played pretty damn good. The chicks in the bar were giving me dirty looks. I dress like a Floridian now not a hick Tennesseean. I would just look them straight in the eye and mouth "What bitch?" Alcohol makes me aggressive...a little too much. The bars close at midnight here. That has to be the biggest crock of shit! Midnight! Fucking idiots! Anyways, the band invited us back to their place afterwards to listen to them play more. Of course, I went. I'm not going to go home buzzed and watch TV the rest of the night. I had already downed 6 Coronas. So, we went to their house and listened to them play for a few hours. I had 2 more beers there. I was doing fine until I smoked. Yep, I said it! I smoked Mary Jane, Ganja, the herbal remedy. Suddenly, the room was spinning. I fucking mean spinning. I said "I'm ready to go NOW!" Some goober kept begging me to stay.
Him- "I'll get you some food."
Me- "No"
Him- "I don't want you to go"
Me- "I don't care. I feel sick."
Him- "You can throw up over there, under the stairs."
Me- "I don't fuckin' think so. You go throw up under the stairs."
Him- "Come on stay."
Me- "NO!"
Him- "I want to see you again before you leave."
Me- "Dude, I'm not gonna fuck you, okay? Give it up!"....He finally did after that.

The drive home was the longest of my life. I couldn't close my eyes because every time I did I felt like vomiting. Finally, we made it home. I made a mad dash for the bathroom where I spent most of the night hugging the porcelain god. I woke up in the bathroom still hugging the porcelain god. Now, I feel like shit. There will be no partying tonight.

I'm not telling the whole story. Use your imagination for the rest.

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:53:00 PM :: 25 comments

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Saturday, October 01, 2005

So long SUCKAS!

It's time to say goodbye. While the rest of you suckers are slaving away next week, my ass will be lounging in bed all day and partying all night. It's vacation time. I won't be back for a week. Damn, that sounds good. The only bad part is the fact that I hate flying. I really hate flying. I think I may have a remedy for my dilemma. I'm guessing that if I could join the mile-high club, I would totally forget that I'm on a plane. It's a sound theory. Actually, it's something that I've kinda been wanting for awhile. It also would take care of my up-against-a-wall fantasy. My first flight is 1 hour and 45 minutes. The second flight is 50 minutes. I can last 2 hours and 35 minutes. I think that my problem will be finding a suitable volutneer (2 hours and 35 minutes).

I'm going back to Tennessee for a week. Actually, I'm going to Pigeon Forge. There's not much night-life there but I'm sure I will be able to amuse myself.

This is where I will be staying most of the time. The best part: It's FREE! My family owns it so I'll always have a place to camp out. OOOOOO...I was wrong about the best part. In the jacuzzi room, there are mirrors on the walls surrounding the bed. I plan on being a good girl. Okay, maybe not, but I will be good at it.

I might check in on ya'll. Shit, I'm already starting to sound like a hick.

Song of the day

Motley Crue

Home Sweet Home

Posted by drunkbh :: 12:28:00 AM :: 17 comments

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